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Published March 24, 2025

Crying at the Orgy

I felt comfortable being polyamorous. But diving into my first play party filled me with anxiety.
Page 1: At the top of the page, Laura is holding a cardboard moving box full of art supplies. She wears big, round glasses and has her curly hair in a bun. She looks happy. Next to her the text reads: Hello! This is me, (our hero) about to embark on a new adventure-- a masters program in cartooning! Laura is hugging a tall man with a light beard and long ponytail. His glasses are small and oval. They are standing in front of a Uhaul truck. Text reads: “I have left my home city and my partner of eight years, Ian… “ “…And my partner of one year Jack to move a state away…” There’s always visits and video calls though! Laura is kissing a tall man with a dark, pointy beard and square glasses. “… And I’m moving in with another student, Michael.” Michael is holding a moving box full of books. The box obscures the bottom half of his face. He has swoopy bangs that cover one eye. His talk bubble says, “Hi” Narration text reads, “While unpacking in our crappy apartment, we realized my room didn’t have a DOOR!” Laura is standing in an empty room. Her back is turned to the reader and she is looking up at the door frame, her arms crossed. She says, “I think they sold us a one bedroom as a two bedroom”. Michael is peeking into the room from beyond the door frame. He says, “Awe beans.” We see Laura’s face with and uncertain expression. She says, “Guess I’ll put up a curtain?”“Before we moved in, Michael and I had only communicated online, and once over the phone. Laura’s face in profile as she talks on a smartphone, “So where are you at in life? What brings you to a masters program in cartooning? Michael is talking on his smartphone, “well, I just graduated from college and I liked school so I figured I’d do some more school. Laura is seen sitting cross legged on a comfy looking sofa as she talks on the phone, “oh cool! I’m 34. I’ve been feeling really stagnant and I needed a life change.” A split panel shows both michael and Laura looking surprised and apprehensive. Laura’s thought bubble says, “A baby!”. Michael’s thought bubble says, “an old!” “We didn’t seem to make sense as roommates on paper but we both needed housing so--” an illustration shows an envelope, a piece of paper with a welcome note from the landlords, and two keys sitting on a tabletop. “I barely knew him but already it was time for our first awkward conversation.” Laura comes out from behind her curtain into a kitchen with a checkered floor. Michael is seen from the back, wearing headphones and working on his laptop at a table. Laura says, “Hey Michael” and Michael says, “huh?”Laura tents her fingertips together near her face while she stands in front of the curtain. She says, “So, I’m polyamorous and have two partners who will visit sometimes.” Laura’s face is in profile while she looks at the curtain. Her arms are crossed. She continues, “We’ll probably want to have sex and a curtain doesn’t offer much sound barrier, so, um… We see Michael's face as he holds up his headphones and says, “Oh! Don’t even worry about it! I basically live in these noise cancelling headphones. I won’t hear you.” Michael puts his headphones back on as he says, “Plus, I’m asexual and aromantic. I’m so not interested in any of that!” Michael gives a smile and a thumbs up from his spot at the kitchen table and says, “You’re adults, do what you want!” Laura’s face looks relieved in the foreground and Michael is visible in the background typing on his laptop. The caption starts “I decided--” and the Laura’s thought bubble continues the sentence, “The apartment might be weird but this kid’s pretty cool.”Laura is excitedly holding up her phone and says, “MICHAEL! I found a meme-- it’s US!” She shows Michael the phone while he is stirring a pot on the stove. He says, “Oh my god it IS us!”. Laura asks, “what if I print it out and put it on the fridge?” and Michael says, “DO IT!!” Caption reads.”It was the start to a beautiful and unlikely friendship. The image shows the fridge with a piece of paper taped to it. We zoom in on the printout of the meme. It shows a big cartoon guy with armor who is being pelted with arrows shielding a little guy with a sword. The big guy is labeled, “poly” and the little guy is labeled, “ace”. The big guy has a talk bubble that says, “Don’t worry I’ll fuck them for you.”Laura is standing in the kitchen wearing jeans and a sweatshirt with a wide neck. Behind her the countertop and sink are visible. They have a houseplant now, implying that time has passed and they are a little more settled in the apartment. Laura says, “one of my partners has invited me…” She now gestures with hands spread theatrically, “... to an ORGY.” Michael is sitting at the table eating cereal and wearing a plaid shirt and headphones. He says, “WHOA! Have you ever been to one?” Laura looks pensive and says, “I have not. I’ve been really curious about them, but also afraid.” Laura sits at the table and says, “Do you know that meme-- the one with the two wolves inside you that are fighting or whatever?” Micheal says, “yeah” and Laura continues, “so basically…”A full page illustration of Laura against a white background gesturing to two wolves circling each other. One wolf is white and fluffy and the other is dark gray with spikier fur. Laura says, “There are two wolves inside me: one is very afraid and the other is very horny.” The fluffy, white wolf appears to be smiling and playful and says, “a sex party could be so fun!” and the dark gray, spikey wolf looks more serious and says, “What if it’s NOT fun? What if I CRY?!”We see Laura and Michael at the kitchen table again. Laura says, “Anyway, I’m taking the bus to Boston for the orgy. Would you mind dropping me off at the station?” Michael grins, gives a thumbs up, and says, “No problem.” In the car, Michael is driving and Laura is in the passenger seat. She says, “we have a strange friendship.” Michael says, “Nah. Every thirty-something poly guy needs a baby ace to drive them to orgies.” They are now in a parking lot with a charter bus in the background. Michael waves from inside the car and says, “Bye! Have fun doing weird sex stuff!” Laura is standing outside the car with her backpack on. She waves back and says, “Thanks! I might cry!”Laura is sitting on the bus and looking out the window. Other passengers are visible in surrounding seats. The two wolves from the wolf metaphor are with Laura. The fluffy “horny wolf” is in the aisle seat and the spikey “afraid wolf” is hiding under the seat. The driver’s announcement reads, “THANK YOU FOR RIDING UPPER VALLEY COACH.” Laura is standing in an open doorway with her backpack on and arms akimbo. She says, “Your cartoonist girlfriend has returned from grad school land!” Laura takes off her shoes near the couch where Ian is sitting. He has turned his head and is smiling at her. Laura says, “Can I take a nap on you while you watch soccer?” Ian says, “Yes.” Laura and Ian are laying on the couch snuggling. Laura’s glasses are on the coffee table along with a remote control. Laura says, “Ian I’m soooooo tired. Grad school is a lot of work.” Ian says, “so I hear.”We zoom in on Laura and Ian on the couch. Laura’s eyes are closed while she is cudded against him. She says, “Ian, what if I cry at the orgy tomorrow?” and he says, “it’s ok to cry.” Laura continues, “But what if I want to be like… a sexy goddess?” In a close-up on Ian and Laura’s faces, Ian says, “Maybe sexy goddesses cry at orgies.” Laura asks, “Do they?” and Ian says, “Well, why not?” Ian kisses Laura’s forehead, a sound effect reads, “smooch,” and Laura has fallen asleep. Her talk bubble says, “zzzzz” Ian turns his focus to the TV which says, “ARSENAL HAS THE BALL!” Laura is curled up with continued, “zzzzzzzzz”s.Narration reads: “About a year earlier in pandemic lockdown:” The image shows Ian at his standing desk looking up a beginner’s guide to sourdough bread on a computer. Laura is in the background, her face in profile and her hands on her hips. She says, “IAN!” and Ian says, “Laura.” Laura turns towards Ian and says, “How would you feel if… when we can like see other humans again… I go to…” She tents her fingers and looks devious, “... a sex party?” Ian looks over from his computer, and says, “Sure! If you want!” Laura happily says, “Neat!” and then looks thoughtful and wonders, “now how does one get invited to such a thing?”Laura’s smartphone display shows an app called, “not too bad cupid” and the text “my self summary: dear internet men I am poly & horny plz send help.” Laura presses “save”. The messages screen on the app says “1000 new matches!” next to a heart icon. A message from someone named Jack is visible. His profile picture shows a dark-haired man with square glasses and a pointy beard. His partially obscured message reads, “Hi! I love your photo! What are you looking for?” Laura’s thought bubble says, “Oooh I DO like dudes with beards!” Laura is sitting on the couch looking at her phone with a mischievous expression. She thinks, “A DATE?! That was fast, yes yes yes yesss!!”The first panel shows a sky with thunderclouds, a bolt of lightning, and raindrops pouring down. Laura Looks at the rain through a window, her hand is touching the glass and she looks pensive. Laura flops over the back of the sofa on which Ian is sitting and working on his laptop. She whines, “IAN! I said I’d go on a date with this guy from the internet but now I don’t feel like it!” Without looking up from his computer he says, “You should go. If he’s lame, just come home.” Laura replies, “okayyy” Laura is standing on a sidewalk with an umbrella and a jacket while another figure with an umbrella in silhouette walks towards her through the rain. The person in silhouette says, “Laura?” Laura is face to face with Jack for the first time. He is tall with dark hair that is long in the middle and shaved on the sides. He has a pointed beard and is wearing square glasses and a button down shirt with a cactus print. Laura looks up at Jack from under her umbrella and says, “Hi!”In a restaurant, Jack and Laura hold hands from across a table. They each have a pint of beer. The rain is still pouring outside the window but they are very focused on each other. Laura is smiling and blushing. Jack and Laura are seen from behind as they venture out into the rain again, this time Laura is walking under Jack’s umbrella and his arm is around the small of her back. The two of them kiss under the awning of a shop. The shop’s front window has a sign that says “closed”. Jack leads Laura through the rain and up a flight of stairs. Jack and Laura are silhouetted on Jack’s second story back porch against a stormy sky. Lightning is visible in the distance as well as the rooftops of neighboring houses. The next panel jumps ahead to Laura back at home with Ian. From his spot on the sofa Ian asks, “how was the date?”. Laura’s hair is wet and she is still in her raincoat. She says, “well, we hooked up on his back porch in the rain.” Ian says, “So, good then?” Laura smiles dreamily while hearts appear around her head. She says, “yeah.”Laura and Jack are sitting next to each other at a bar. Jack’s button down has a lightning bolt pattern tonight and he has a glass of whiskey. Laura has a glass of wine. The lights are low, the vibe is cool. Narration reads: “About one lovely year of dating Jack--” Jack says, “So I’m thinking about throwing a sex party for my birthday. I’d love for you to come!” Laura says, “pun intended?” Jack leans towards her deviously while Laura grins. He says, “Of course baby!” Laura’s expression changed to worried and she says, “what if I cry?” Jack looks surprised and says, “Oh no! Why would you cry?” Laura leans into jack and says, “I’m not actually sure. I’ve never been to one before.” Jack reassures her, “They’re a lot like any other party. And there’s always designated non-sex spaces. You can cry if you need to!”Horny Wolf and Afraid Wolf appear floating over Laura’s shoulders, almost like a little shoulder anger and shoulder devi. Horny wolf has heart eyes and says, “ORGY ORGY ORGY!” Afraid Wolf looks very concerned and says, “I don’t think you should go.” Laura says to Jack, “I mean I’d rather not cry in front of a bunch of hot people when I’m trying to be like, sexy.” We see a wide drawing of Jack and Laura on their bar stools. They swivel so they are facing each other. Jack says, “When I took my ex, Tamara to her first orgy we agreed to play with each other first. Then when she was feeling hot and confident I sent her off to enjoy the rest of the party! I’d love to do that for you!” Laura says, “Sure! We could try that!”Jack reminisces, “After Tamara warmed up, she fucked four or five people. So it worked great!” He is smiling, but Laura is not. Her eyes are wide. Laura looks terribly worried and says, “Well, that is… impressive.” Afraid Wolf is peeking over the bar next to Laura. Their eyes are wide and their ears are flattened back. Afraid Wolf says, “That’s SO many.” Horny Wolf is happily writing in a book called ‘Notes to Self’ while saying, “Fuck… six… people. Got it!”Jack and Laura are facing each other on their bar stools again. Their legs are intertwined. Jack is touching Laura’s face and Laura’s hand is on Jack’s hip. Jack looks into Laura’s eyes and says, “I want to help you have a great first experience. I’m excited to share this part of my life with you!” Laura smiles and says, “Thanks!” The flashback fades out white Laura says, “Let me know when and I’ll come down from school!” and Jack says, “Absolutely!”We return to the present: Laura is standing in a very steamy shower with narraction text that reads, “Orgy day!” Laura has a towel wrapped around her as she looks into the bathroom mirror. Horny Wolf is visible in the mirror reflection looking very mischievous. Laura and Horny Wolf share a thought bubble that says, “Time to live my best, sluttiest life!” Laura now has on a bra and is pulling a shirt on over her head. We zoom out and see more of her outfit: The shirt is a sheer crop top with a star pattern. Her bra is still visible through the fabric. She is also wearing high waisted black undies. We zoom out even further to see her whole body. She stands in front of a bookshelf and dresser with clothes strewn about as she pins her hair into two small buns. Laura looks happy.On a sidewalk illuminated by street lamps Laura is seen in walking profile with a devious expression. She has now added an overall-style jumpsuit to her outfit as an outer layer. She thinks, “No one on this sidewalk knows I’m going to an orgy!” Laura sees another person approaching. They are wearing a t-shirt and long skirt and have a mohawk. They are waving. Laura thinks, “Is that Jesse?” Now that Laura has recognized her friend, she and Jesse go in for a hug. Laura says, “Oh my gosh hiii!!!” and Jesse says, “You look great! What are you up to?” With a huge smile Laura says, “I’M GOING TO AN ORGY!”As Laura and Jesse hug, Jesse says, “Have SO much fun!” and Laura says, “Thank you!!” Jesse and Laura each continue on their ways and Laura puts in earbuds. The phone in Laura’s hand displays the music she is listening to: Kesha’s album “Animal” and Laura thinks, “Ok!” We see a close up of Laura’s face looking confident. Music notes are emanating from her earbuds as she continues her thought, “Time to embody sexy pop star energy!”Laura, seen from the back, approaches Jack’s house and thinks, “I totally got this!” Laura opens the door, her expression mischievous, and her earbuds playing Kesha’s lyrics, “The party don’t start ‘til I walk in.” Jack’s house is well lit and inviting. People in lingerie are talking and eating pizza in the background. Pizza and drinks are visible on a table. A friendly-looking blond woman in a low-cut bodysuit is waving hello. Jack is wearing a fishnet shirt and holding a beer. He smiles and says, “Hey Laura! So glad you made it!” Laura panics. She drops her phone a earbuds and thanks, “OH NO I DON’T GOT THIS! I’M SORRY KESHAAA!!!Jack, looking concerned, puts his hand reassuringly on Laura’s cheek. He says, “Oh no! What’s wrong?” and Laura says, “I’m so nervous!” Jack gives her a hug and says, “Do you want to sit on the porch? Have some pizza?” Laura responds, “ok”. The back porch is illuminated by a round paper lantern and furnished with an outdoor sofa and a small table. Laura is sitting cross legged on the sofa with a sad expression and a slice of pizza on a plate. Jack has his arm around her and says, “I should go host. Do you want Erin to come talk to you?” Laura says, “sure.” Narration texts explains: “Erin is his wife, my metamour. A metamour is your partner’s other partner(s).The back door opens and Erin leans through the doorway. She is a blonde woman in the bodysuit who waved hello to Laura earlier. She looks concerned and says, “Hey, how’s it going?” Laura’s knees are drawn up to her chest on the sofa. She says, “I’ve been better.” Shown in profile, Laura explains, “I’m nervous that no one will be interested in me but if they are will I even be interested in them? Laura continues, looking at Erin, “And like, I’m nervous to be around Jack hooking up with other people.” Erin says, “I was too when we first started going to these things.” She lounges on the sofa and continues, “It actually helps me to be in the room. I don’t have to worry about what he might be doing. I can just see what’s actually happening.”Erin, in profile says, “And there is no pressure to fuck anyone if you don’t want to.” She shrugs and says, “Mostly people are just gonna tell you you’re pretty and ask to kiss you.” Laura smiles and says, “Well that sounds nice.” Horny Wolf appears and whispers, “Kiss people! Kiss people!!” Afraid Wolf whispers, “You’re gonna cry more and ruin the whole orgy.” Laura voices the fear and asks Erin, “What if I cry and ruin the whole orgy?” Erin and Laura are seen on the sofa, no wolves in sight now. Erin says, “Listen, my dad died two weeks ago, and it's my house. If anyone gets to cry and ruin the orgy it’s me, ok?” Laura says, “Haha, deal.”Jack opens the door to the porch and says, “How’s it going? Ready for opening circle?” Laura is surprised that the time passed so quickly and says, “It’s opening circle ALREADY?” Erin heads back into the house and says, “See you inside.” Jack kneels in front of Laura as she sits on the sofa. He smiles, grasps her hands, and says, “You’re gonna be great!” We see a close-up of their hands as he helps her up.This page is a series of drawings of different people’s heads, each with a talk bubble. Jack says, “Welcome everyone! Let’s go around and share what we’re looking for tonight! It’s my birthday and I would love to end up in a cuddle pile at some point!” A woman with shoulder length black hair and rectangular glasses says, “I’m looking for playfulness and sexy massage.” A Shirtless guy with a ridged nose and spikey, light colored hair says, “I’m definitely down to fuck!” Erin says, “My sexuality is: I would make out with any of you.” A man with a round face and a curly, asymmetrical haircut winks as he says, “I’ve taught spanking professionally so find me if you want a lesson-- or to be taught a lesson.” Laura looks slightly uncertain and says, “Hi! This is my first play party. I um, brought my sketchbook so I can draw you like one of my French girls, if you want!”One large illustration shows the whole group sitting in a circle, some people on a couch and others sitting on chairs, and a mattress on the floor. Jack is sitting next toLaura on the couch saying, “Hell yeah!”. A woman with long hair, freckles, and a short, black dress is sitting next to Laura on the couch. She says, “You can TOTALLY draw me like one of your French girls!” A person with short hair wearing a sheer robe sitting on the mattress says, “Me too!”. A person with dark, spiky hair lounging on the mattress wearing only a black thong says, “That’s so hot!” In the middle of it all, Laura is beaming.Laura and Jack make sexy eye contact, their faces are so close together their noses are touching. Jack asks, “Would you like to play with me?” and Laura says, “yes!” They kiss and wrap their arms around each other. In Jack’s bedroom, he continues to kiss Laura’s neck as he starts to take off her jumpsuit. The door to the bedroom is open and there are party guests socializing in the next room. Laura is still wearing her sheer, star patterned top, but nothing else, and Jack is shirtless. Laura appears to be straddling Jack, though they are seen only from the waist up, his hand is suggestively placed on her hip. Jack is focused on Laura while she glances at the open door. She thinks, “This feels pretty normal, there’s just more people around...”We see a close-up of Laura and Jack’s faces. Laura looks dreamy and says, “Ok! I’m ready to head back into the party!” In the next panel, Jack’s mesh shirt is back on. Laura is wearing her top as well, but not her jumpsuit. Jack kisses Laura’s hand which she grins and blushes. She thinks, “Well this is going ok so far!” They return to the main room of the party, the bedroom door visible behind them. They are holding hands. Jack is looking off to the side while Laura talks to another party guest: the curly haired guy from the opening circle who said he had taught spanking. He is wearing a harness on his torso and tight, black boxer-briefs. He says, “Hi! Wanna help me with a spanking demo?” Laura says, “That sounds fun!” Half of Laura’s face is visible in the bottom of the panel. Her expression looks extremely worried. Behind her is the woman with short, dark hair and rectangular glasses from opening circle. She is also wearing a black, lacey bra and panties set and thigh-high sheer stockings. She says, “Hey birthday boy!” And Jack says, “Hey there!” A wide view of the room shows the edge of a table with drinks and the bedroom door open. Jack and the other woman are kissing in front of the door, their arms wrapped around each other. In the foreground Laura has a nervous smile and thinks, “This is fine. This is fine.” The curly-haired man says, “you’re really pretty, can I kiss you?”There is a large illustration of Laura and the spanking instructor’s faces as they kiss. Laura’s thought bubble says, “Hellooo coffee breath!” Next, we Laura from the back as the spanking instructor takes off her shirt. She thinks, “Whatever keeps you energized for the orgy, I guess!” In the same room where the opening circle was held, Laura sits on the mattress on the floor wearing only her undies, her bra and shirt strewn about the mattress. Her back is to the viewer as she faces the sofa in the background. On the sofa, there is a nude couple engaged in a tastefully drawn sex act, as well as the freckled girl in the black dress, who is lounging seductively. She tells Laura, “You have beautiful tits!” and Laura says, “Oh my god, Thank you!!” The spanking instructor on his hands and knees on the floor mattress says, “Can I have you lay on your belly?”On the mattress, Laura lays on her belly wearing only her high waisted black underwear. Her other clothing is still laying haphazardly next to her. Laura’s arms are crossed in such a way that her breasts are obscured, save for a bit on cleavage. The edge of the couch is visible, as are the legs of the nude couple. The spanking instructor and the woman in the black dress are sitting behind Laura on the mattress, using her butt as a teaching tool. The woman is watching as the instructor holds his open palm over Laura’s butt. He says, “So you never want to hit the tailbone, make sure…” and Laura thinks, “Ahhhh so fun! We see a close-up of Laura’s torso in profile. One hand is propping her chin up as she thinks, “I’m ready to get my sketchbook out.” In the next panel, Laura is still in only her underwear, holding her sketchbook and a pen in front of her torso. The mattress and a closed door are visible in the background. She looks worried and thinks, “Jack is still in the other room.”Laura sits in an armchair by a window with the shade down and a side table with a houseplant and a bottle of lube.. She looks comfortable and confident and she draws in her sketchbook. Her view is the sofa, where the woman in the black dress is on top of the spikey-haired guy from opening circle who had said he was ‘down to fuck.’ Next to them is another side table with a hitachi wand on it. We see a series of illustrations of Laura’s hand holding the pen and drawing in the sketchbook. Her sketch becomes progressively more detailed in each moment, building until it is a messy rendering of the two people together, with scribbly lines in the background outlining their forms. Laura’s thought bubble reads, “Wow! This is actually really good figure drawing practice!”Jack appears at Laura’s shoulder shirtless, and says, “That looks great!” as he looks down at her drawing. Laura is happy to see him and says, “Oh hi! Thanks!” Jack and Laura in profile look over towards the sofa. Jack asks, “Is it aright if I play with them?” and Laura, who’s happy expression has faded slightly, says, “Yeah, I might just go somewhere else though.” On the couch, Jack is lays between the two subjects of Laura’s drawing. The woman is kissing him while the man grins and takes off Jack’s glasses and touches his chest. Laura walks through a doorway, away from the group on the couch. She is holding all of her discarded clothes and her sketchbook in a bundle. She looks uncomfortable.Laura has returned to the solace of the back porch and has gotten dressed again. She sits cross legged on the patio sofa and hugs her sketchbook. She thinks, “It’s ok, we’re poly-- I know he sleeps with other people, I’m just not usually there.” Afraid Wolf appears over her shoulder as a small head with a dark, wispy trail behind it like a ghost. It says, “Maybe he sleeps with other people because you’re not good enough.” Laura says, “No, that’s not--” Horny Wolf appears as well, its body also a ghost-like wisp. The little ghostly Hory Wolf floats above Laura’s head and says, “I thought you were gonna fuck more people.” Laura looks up at it with knitted eyebrows. Afraid Wolf in profile against a black background says, “I knew you shouldn’t have come.”Laura has drawn her legs up to her chest with angry tears in her eyes. The two wolves have grown so they now appear much larger. They tower over Laura on either side. Afraid Wolf says, “Are you crying again? What a loser!” Horny Wolf says, “Noooo you can still go back inside and have fun!” Laura looks uncertain as the wolves crowd around her. Horny Wolf put a paw on her shoulder and says, “C’mon champ! Let’s go win that orgy!” Laura says, “I don’t feel like a champ, I feel--” Afraid Wolf cuts her off and says, “Like a loser? A FAILURE???”Laura lays on the sofa angrily crying while Afraid Wolf tells her, “You’re ruining Jack’s birthday!” Horny Wolf begins to take on a melty shape and says, “I just wanted to have fun!”We see Laura on the couch from Jack’s vantage point. Her knees are hugged up to her chest. She is crying and the two wolves now have snake-like bodies wrapped around her. Afraid Wolf says, “Don’t tell him whats wrong. Do you think you should get emotional support or something?” Laura stammers, “I, um…” Horny Wolf says, “This is such a drag, just go back to being sexy!” A large illustration shows Laura covering her face with her hands and crying on the sofa. She thinks, “I’m so stupid! Why did I think I could do this? I AM a loser!” Page 37 Jack opens the door to the back porch. He is shirtless and not wearing his glasses. His hair is messy. He says, “We’re finished if you want to--” In the next panel, his expression has changed from excited to alarmed and he says, “Oh no baby, what’s wrong?”A view of the back porch shows Laura on the sofa and Jack standing in the doorway. The wolves are not visible in this moment. Jack says, “I’m… not sure what you need right now.” Laura is looking away from him and says, “I’m not sure either.” We see a close-up of Jack’s concerned face as he says, “I…” We see a close-up of Laura’s face with tears in her eyes. Laura covers her face with her hands and says, “Um… I’ll come in, I-- I just need a few more minutes.”Alone again on the porch, curls herself into a little ball as she sits on the sofa. Her sketchbook is still at her side and cast over the scene are two menacing wolf shadows. Laura picks her head up and thinks, “Ok. It’s just a party. A party with nice people.” Her expression starts to look hopeful and she thinks, “...people who are having sex… which is beautiful and natural and lovely and fun.” Laura takes a deep “inhale” and lets out an “exhale.”We see a wide view of the side of the house with Laura sitting on the porch. She thinks, “I ca do this. I can do this.” Back in the house, the partygoers are lounging on the sofa and the floor mattress. A side table has two pairs of glasses on it. No sex acts are happening, and people are just hanging out in their lingerie. Laura shyly walks through the doorway hugging her sketchbook. All of the people on the mattress say, “Laura!” Jack and the freckled woman in the black dress are laying on their bellies on the mattress. Jack arm is outstretched towards Laura and he says, “Come join me!” The woman in the black dress says, “Can I see your drawings?” In the next panel, Laura is laying next to Jack and their noses are touching. The other woman is looking through the sketchbook with stars for eyes. She points to a page and says, “Is that ME?”The woman with the short, dark hair and thigh high stockings puts on a pair of glasses and says, “Wait, these aren’t my glasses.” and a talk bubble from outside of the panel border says, “Those are mine!” The scene zooms out to show the tops of Jack and Laura’s heads as they lay on the mattress. The woman in the stockings is standing with her arms akimbo, as though modeling the glasses. Jack says, “They look good on you though!” Another talk bubble from someone outside of the panel says, “You look like--” Laura starts singing Weezer Lyrics, “wee-ooo I look just like Buddy Holly.” Jack and Laura sing together, “Oh-oh and you’re Mary Tyler Moore.” The woman with the stockings sings, “I don’t care what they say about us anyway” A drawing of the room shows all the guests joining in and singing, “I don’t care ‘bout that!” The woman in the stockings is handing Jack his glasses. The spanking instructor is laying on a chaise lounge, and Erin and the spikey haired guy are on the sofa. A side table still has an unclaimed pair of glasses. In the last panel of this page Laura lays on the mattress. Her sketchbook is next to her and she looks tired, but also has a soft smile.Laura and Jack are alone in the living room in a loose embrace. Jack has one hand on Laura’s face and says, “I’m glad you came!” Laura asks, “even though I freaked out?” Jack says, “You told me you might cry. It’s really ok!” He hugs her closer and says, “If you want to try group sex stuff, maybe we should just start with a threesome.” Laura starts crying again but says, “That sounds nice!” We see a silent panel of Laura and Jack hugging in the doorway to the living room. Still hugging, Laura says, “Meg said I have beautiful tits.” Jack says, “You DO have beautiful tits!”This page starts with a wide shot of the Upper Valley Coach bus driving on the highway. It is a beautiful day with mountains in the distance, a sky full of clouds, and foliage from trees in the foreground. We see Laura on the bus gazing out the window. She is wearing a casual long-sleeved shirt and jeans. Laura’s two wolves appear, at this moment they are small enough to both fit in the seat next to her. Afraid Wolf says, “So, we’re NEVER doing that again!” Horny Wolf says, “It’s too soon to decide that.” Afraid Wolf has now shrunk to be tiny and Laura holds it in the palm of her hand. She says, “yeah, my fear and insecurity really got the better of me.” Laura looks off into the middle distance and says, “Maybe I thought I had to be somebody else at a sex party…” The tiny Afraid Wolf now sits on her shoulder and says, “Somebody cooler? Hotter?” Laura says, “Both temperatures.”We see a close-up of Laura’s face. Her reflection is visible in the bus window. The highway landscape is visible beyond the glass as well. She thinks, “But even in this new context, I’m still just my regular self.” She puts her hand up to the bus window, smiles at herself in the glass and thinks, “And my regular self is enough.” We see her sitting in the seat. Her backpack is next to her and her sketchbook is cradled in her lap. She looks away from the viewer and out the window. She thinks, “That’s kinda nice.” We see one silent panel of Laura looking out the window, content. Then she and Horny Wolf both look at a page from her sketchbook with mischievous grins. Laura thinks, “Plus these drawings are like SUPER HOT.”

This is an excerpt from an ongoing work. Laura is looking for a publisher for her book-length memoir, Crying at the Orgy. If you're interested in publishing the book, please get in touch with her. 

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