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Published October 31, 2024

I didn’t feel like I lived in America until I left California

Panel 1 of a 20 panel comic. The comic is drawn digitally and hand-lettered with expressive flourishes. The text is all narration with a speaker that isn’t drawn on the page. “I didn’t feel like I lived in America until I left California,” is written on a sky that is alternately gray and white, evoking cloudy day, or plumes of smoke rising. Two palm trees frame the text.Panel 2. A plain panel with no background illustration. “At least not USA (TM) as featured on Fox News, CNN, and whatever else news station I stopped paying attention to after 2015.” The “U” in USA is colored in red, the “S” has small stars, and the “A” is blue. Small stars function as periods after the “U” and “S.” “Fox News” and “CNN” are written in angular bubble letters. Whenever the text USA (TM) appears in the text later in the comic, it’s styled in this manner.Panel 3. “Which was odd considering the knowing presence of ICE,” a wall of chain link fence, “and our major housing crisis,” written within a small tent.Panel 4. “It must have been because those issues were far from me despite having to confront my dad’s homelessness.” An arm divides the panel in half, hand held up in a “stop” position. “In the same way that masking up doesn’t seem necessary if you aren’t concerned about any health conditions.” A KN-95 mask.Panel 5. Two hands hold a small gray newspaper. “I don’t think anyone is ‘bad’ for not actively caring about others. Most people would read a devastating headline and think,” (written in large bold letters) “‘Oh, that’s a shame.’ And complacency is a result of being stretched too thin.” The following text is written in different sizes and colors. “Between (bold) work, (red with a drop shadow) kids, (red) second jobs, (bold) chores, (tiny text crammed into a corner) maybe room for a hobby.”Panel 6. “I think most people are too busy to think beyond themselves.” The silhouette of one large person wraps their hands around the silhouettes of four other people. “Most people don’t have the time, resources, or mental capacity to think beyond their circle.” The text “I think” is written across the heads of six more silhouettes, “virtue signalers don’t see these people as people. Only theory and NPCs.”Panel 7. Written on the text of a signboard on a stick held up by one hand: “I was confused when my mom was upset that went to protests.” An eye cries one tear, its eyebrow arched into outrage. “And an older friend of mine who was a parent said I was stupid. He said I didn’t understand that my mom knows protests can be violent and that her top concern is my safety.” Written on a black rectangle in white text: “I think most people want to keep them and theirs safe.”Panel 8. “(Large, bold text) Resistance attracts (large, red text) Violence, whether it’s peaceful or not. Because we live in USA (TM), a country quick to label anyone who disagrees as a terrorist.” The word terrorist is written alphanumerically as T3rr0R15T. The words “A country” is written across eight silhouettes, “quick to turn on their own.”Panel 9. “So could you blame a parent when their child asks them…” Silhouette of a child in profile, pointing an accusatory finger towards a parent, “What did you do to stop the genocide?” “And they say…” Parent with a single tear on their cheek clasps their hands in a protective circle, “I kept you safe.”Panel 10. “I’d like to know what the alternative plan is for the people who are saying not to vote.” Voters box with a large red “X” on the ballot sticking out of it. “Are they at the doors of USA (TM)? Willing to accept the (large red text) violence?”Panel 11. “Or are they on their phones or reading books? Or quotes of books written by people who were brave enough to enact their words.” The child from panel 9 looks down at a phone, “What did you do to stop the genocide?” The text “Forgetting” is written across the heads of ten silhouettes, “about most people.”Panel 12. The panel is divided diagonally into black and white. On black background in white text, “Not to say those people (people who resist) don’t exist… They do.” On protest sign, “They often are the people who have nothing left to lose.” On white background, black text “Or those with enough resources to not fear the real consequences of USA (TM).”Panel 13. “USA (TM) controls with fear and economical oppression.” Two rows of silhouettes fill the bottom half of the page. The text “I tried to keep you safe” is repeated over and over, often partially illegible.Panel 14. The same background as panel 1: gray and white sky, two palm trees. “I didn’t feel unsafe until I left California.”Panel 16. “When I was profiled by a cop after a run and was accused of stealing my own 1988 camry.” The cop is a pair of sunglasses holding up a handheld radio: “Your car isn’t registered.” Ness (off-panel): “It is. Will you let me get my paperwork?” Cop: “I may need backup.” Ness: “Are you serious?”Panel 17. “When I moved to a predominantly white neighborhood in North Carolina and felt otherness.” A dozen eyes stare out at the reader, the text “do you live here?” scattered down the page.Panel 18. “When I look around and feel how recent it is that slavery ended. Something that seemed so far in the history books I read in California.” A car on a highway, a huge billboard points towards “Vance Birthplace.” The passenger in the car: “I wonder that that is? … Oh god!”Panel 19: “When I’ve looked for jobs and learned minimum wage in North Carolina is $7.25.” Ness, drawn as an exasperated hand running through hair, low eyebrows, and a frown pointed towards a phone: “How? My first job in California in 2013 poid $8.50.” “And I had to take a job that paid $14/hour. Still lower than CA minimum wage and lower than I’ve been paid in the last eight years.Panel 20: Text is written on huge ominous jaws with jagged teeth, like the mouth of a creature or a bear trap: “So I did what I can right now. In the confinements of fear,” written on a hand reaching through the huge jaws to put a ballot in a voting box, “not prepared,” written on the lower jaw, “for the unavoidable violence.”

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